You Are More Than One Noun

Hi Love. I know it has been a while since I last wrote. It is not that you have been absent of mind, but rather I have been conquering emotional hurdles of my own. One thing that's been on my heart lately is your dreams.

Growing up, I wanted to be a doctor. I attended medical internships, was premed starting college and assumed that is where my path would lead. It did not. That is for many reasons. Reasons called life.  I got distracted in college, too focused on having a good time, let my grades slip and lost sight of my dreams. I then realized there were things I enjoyed in addition to the medical field, such as writing, networking and the service industry. One thing was consistent; I got lost emotionally. I thought there were so many things I should be. I had trouble committing to the thought of being defined to one term forever - doctor, lawyer, chef, sales person, writer. I now realize you are so much more than one noun. 

I do not know that I ever made the decision not to become a doctor. Sometimes I still feel an emptiness in my heart, aching for something more. I tell myself it is too late now. I know I do not want additional debt or more time in school, but I also do not want a life of feeling unfulfilled. It can't be too late for me. I tell you this, because it is never too late for you to consider your own needs. You will be many nouns. 

Another hurdle I confronted after graduation and still face to some extent was feeling as if I let people down. To this day my parents will mention that I could have been a doctor, or my Dad will say I should push to be the CEO of a company. I can take this two ways and have in the past. When I was younger, I took it to mean - "Mikie, you let us down. We expected you to be something special. You are not living up to our dreams." The older I get I try to see it as flattering. I try to hear them saying, "Mikie we have a world of faith in you. If you wanted to be a Doctor, CEO or Astronaut you could be." I now realize the only person you let down when you don't chase your dreams is you. 

But here is what I want you to know, You can be anything. I know in my heart you are capable of greatness, but the greatness you choose to pursue is up to you. I may not always agree with the directions you choose in life, but I will always support you. I will always be proud of you and I will always help you chase your dreams. Try not to lose sight of your own dreams. Try not to infer from others who you should be. Even now, as I sit here in this quiet coffee shop south of Gainesville, I am learning myself. I think we always will be.